Navigating Parenting & Childhood

Earlier this week we welcomed Dr. Rob Evans, a nationally acclaimed child psychologist, author, and speaker, to Hutchison. Those in attendance were treated to an insightful, funny, and thought-provoking discussion about the unique dilemmas parents of girls today face. With his trademark humor and common-sense approach, Rob offered practical suggestions about how parents can best navigate these challenging and unpredictable times.

 

According to Dr. Evans, the crux of good parenting often boils down to meeting children’s three basic needs – nurture, structure, and latitude. These three factors are the keys to helping any child grow into a confident, resilient, and successful adult. The earliest and most obvious component of child development is nurture, which demands time – time to be with your daughter, play with her, read to her, listen to her, and comfort her. Though the form of nurture may evolve as your daughter matures, she never outgrows the need for your love and acceptance.

 

In addition to nurture, children need the structure of clear guidelines and expectations about their behavior. Despite how upset or angry a child may become in the moment, parents must communicate and enforce what is non-negotiable in their household.

 

And finally, children must have the latitude and freedom to learn from experience, which means parents must resist the temptation to rush in and try to fix things whenever their child faces an obstacle or disappointment. Without discomfort and struggle, we do not allow our children the opportunity to become creative and resilient problem-solvers.

 

As the evening came to a close, Dr. Evans encouraged parents to create a list of the things they do well and to revisit it often. He said far too many parenting books and experts encourage parents to focus on their perceived shortcomings when the reality is that no parent is or ever will be perfect, and children are incredibly resilient.